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Finally Run Out of Quarantine Tissue? Now Get a $70 Bidet and Stop Worrying About Wiping Your Ass

BioBidet Slim Zero Non-Electric Bidet | $70 | Woot
BioBidet Slim Zero Non-Electric Bidet | $70 | Woot
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BioBidet Slim Zero Non-Electric Bidet | $70 | Woot

Between COVID, wars, and rumors of wars, civil unrest, and a tanking economy to top it all off, we have more than enough material to pad another meaty chapter into our history books. But there is one story that will get swept under the rug— or, perhaps, tracked under your feet: We bought a hell of a lot of toilet paper. (I told you, more than enough padding material!)


I have neither the time nor care to check the financials, but I’m pretty sure 2020 takes the gold as the single biggest year in toilet paper history.

Have we all calmed the hell down by now? If you’re just about done working through your stash, you might consider buying a BioBidet, down to $70 at Woot in a one-day sale. It’s simple: Sit, shit, spritz your ass. You’ll still need to wipe, but you’ll use a lot less toilet paper and your anus will be much cleaner, and that’s what we call a win-win.

Associate Editor. I'm trying to be the very best like no one ever was. To play every game in the world is my real test. Finding the time to is my cause.